An Introduction
A sort of short intro to who I am.
I was born 5 weeks early after 4 days of labor March 29th, 1951. I was twisted, deformed, under weight and blue. I was placed in a tented crib and given oxygen and given a 50/50 chance. Months later I was allowed go home with a cast on my right leg to straighten it out. Thanksgiving night 1958 my Father died, he was 41, I was 7. We relocated to Phoenix and on Jan 16th, 1961 (61 years ago today at 5:44pm) was the victim of an attempted molestation and attempted murder. After the 4th grade I never took a book home to study. My freshman year in high school they discovered I couldn’t read. I was socially promoted through school. I am a high functioning autistic with complex PTSD. I am self educated, I am not programed and indoctrinated like the rest of you. At the age of 41 my verbal reasoning tested to be at 8%. I have an auditory aphasia, I hear sounds fine but there is very limited processing of what I hear. I am deaf and it may be considered part of my autism. My hands are crippled from the event when I was 9. The Purdue Pegboard test showed my left hand to test at 7 points and my right hand at 13. Anything 10 or less is considered crippled. In spite of all of this I have taught myself to play the 12 string guitar.
According to the Myers-Briggs testing I am an INTP or INFP depending on my circumstances. This goes a long way in explaining my oddness to others that tend to misunderstand me. Throughout my life I have had to seek out alternatives on how to get things done, none of the "normal" ways of doing things ever work for me. One of the results of this is whenever I've asked for help or assistance doing something on my agenda folk's turn their backs. They either say no or I get no reply, crickets instead.
No matter how long I live, no matter how hard I try, I will never understand being shunned and or ghosted. To be deemed unworthy, the damage done runs deep. I am jealous of you who are seemingly so perfect.
I am available via email ... lacewood12@gmail.com ...
